Writing and Marketing a Rom-Com, with Alexa Bigwarfe [aka Lexi Haddock!]

In this episode of The Resilient Writers Radio Show, I’m joined by Alexa Bigwarfe, USA Today bestselling author, publishing coach, founder of Write|Publish|Sell, and creator of the Women in Publishing Summit.

Alexa has spent years helping women and underrepresented voices publish professional books, build author platforms, and grow businesses around their work. But in this conversation, we also get to talk about her fiction side: the romantic comedies she writes under the pen name Lexi Haddock.

Alexa shares the story behind her Paris-inspired fiction series, beginning with 4 Days in Paris, a book that was more than ten years in the making. The novel began with real-life inspiration from Alexa’s own time living and working in Paris, including a romantic New Year’s Eve encounter in 1999. As she says in our conversation, she wrote the story the way she wished it had ended.

We talk about what it means to draw from real life while still creating fiction that works for readers. Alexa opens up about the challenge of honouring real people and true memories while also shaping the story into something with enough tension, conflict, and emotional movement to become a satisfying novel. She also shares how friendship, Paris, and even the Eiffel Tower itself became central characters in the book.

One of the things I loved most about this conversation is how candid Alexa is about the timing of creativity. She began the original version of the book years earlier, but it wasn’t until 2020, while going through a divorce and living through the pandemic, that she returned to it. At a moment when writing something heavy felt impossible, romance gave her a way back into hope, possibility, and joy.

We also talk about the other books in the Sparks in Paris series, including the Christmas novella set in Strasbourg, France. Alexa shares how much she loves European Christmas markets, how she brought in elements of her military background, and how a small character from an earlier book found her way into the starring role.

Of course, because Alexa is also a publishing coach, we talk about marketing too. She shares what it’s like to market her own fiction while also running her businesses, and why tying a book to a theme, season, or reader mood can make a big difference. 

Her Christmas novella gave her a chance to connect with readers who were already actively looking for holiday books, and she got to see some of the strategies she teaches authors actually working in her own author life.

In the second half of our conversation, Alexa shares what’s changing with the Women in Publishing Summit and why she’s moving toward a more community-based model. We talk about networking, business skills for authors, content strategy, and the importance of having a generous writing and publishing community around you.

And yes, there are more Lexi Haddock books on the way, including Back to Paris and a World War II novel set in France.

This is such a lovely conversation about romance, reinvention, publishing, community, and the long, winding path a book can take before it finally becomes what it was meant to be.

Transcript

Intro:

Well, hey there, Writer. Welcome to The Resilient Writers Radio Show. I'm your host, Rhonda Douglas. And this is the podcast for writers who want to create and sustain a writing life they love. 

Because let's face it, the writing life has its ups and downs, and we want to not just write, but also to be able to enjoy the process so that we'll spend more time with our butt-in-chair getting those words on the page. 

This podcast is for writers who love books and everything that goes into the making of them. For writers who want to learn and grow in their craft and improve their writing skills. Writers who want to finish their books and get them out into the world so their ideal readers can enjoy them. Writers who want to spend more time in that flow state. 

Writers who want to connect with other writers to celebrate and be in community, in this crazy roller coaster ride, we call the writing life. We are resilient writers. We're writing for the rest of our lives and we're having a good time doing it. So welcome, Writer. I'm so glad you're here. Let's jump right into today's show.

Rhonda:

Well, hey there, Writer. Welcome back to another episode of The Resilient Writers Radio Show. Today I'm here with Alexa Bigwarfe. She is a USA Today bestselling author, publishing coach and founder of Write|Publish|Sell. She helps women and underrepresented voices publish professional books, build platforms and grow businesses around their expertise as the creator of the Women in Publishing Summit.

Alexa brings together thousands of authors and publishing professionals together each year to learn, connect, and amplify diverse voices in publishing. Whether guiding authors through powerful book launches or helping them turn their stories into tools for impact, is passionate about helping women use their words to inspire change.

And she also writes romantic comedies under the pen name Lexi Haddock, which is what we're going to talk about today. Welcome, Alexa.

Alexa:

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be on your podcast.

Rhonda:

So when did you start the Lexi Haddock Books? That’s a..it’s a pen name, right?

Alexa:

It is, but… Lexi is a nickname for Alexa and Haddock is my maiden name. And so, yeah, so I didn't actually start the pen name until I was getting ready to publish my first novel. And there were a couple of reasons for that.

One, I was going through a divorce and I did not want my ex-husband's name, my legal name Bigwarfe on my novels and two, I wanted to differentiate between all of my non-fiction books and my fiction books.

But when I actually started writing the book that became the first book I published was back in like 2013. It took me 10 years to get that first one published.

Rhonda:

4 Days in Paris. Is that the one?

Alexa:

Uhum.

Rhonda:

Cool.

Alexa:

It was a long time in the making and it went through a couple of different iterations and shifts and turns and swirls and all the things before it finally became what it was. But once we got it there, I was really happy with it. And you know, sometimes as excited as we are about writing our books and getting them published, sometimes it benefits the whole structure to just slow down and let it come when it's supposed to.

Rhonda:

Yeah. I did your uh self-publishing workshop recently and you were talking about 180 days.

Alexa:

For marketing.

Rhonda:

Yeah, yeah. So talk to me about the Paris series. So you're obsessed with Paris. Did you write that little series in order to just to have an excuse to go to Paris? I just wanna know.

Alexa:

Oh, well, obviously. [Laughing] I mean, you know, what a great way to get to write off your travel to Paris, right? Well, there's that, but also I uh spent my junior year studying in France and then I went back, I fell in love with a guy and I moved back after I graduated college and I was living and working in Paris and he and I did not work out.

But the story is actually based on real events in terms of one of my friends' cousins that I met on New Year's Eve. And it was right before I was getting ready to move back to the US. And I met this guy and we were, it was just so romantic. New Year's Eve, 1999 and when I was, I just, wrote the story the way I wish it had ended.

Rhonda:

I love that. Yeah. So it's a little autobiographical, but then you fictionalized it.

Alexa:

Exactly. And you know what? That's actually really hard to do because I was really torn on keeping the real stuff real enough, but also being very careful about the things that I said about the real people and not wanting to get them in trouble for things that we did and all of that kind of stuff.

And also wanting to be true to the people that they were based on that I love so dearly, but also having to create enough, you know, I mean, it's not that our everyday lives weren't interesting enough, but you know, for readers, you've got to have a little more tension and a little more, you know, what's this, the conflicts between people.

I just, told my two girlfriends, because it's not just a romance book with a girl and a guy, it's a romance with Paris, it's a romance with the Eiffel Tower who is a character in the book and it is a very heavy book on, not heavy, it's a very light book, but the friendship part is a very big part of the story.

Rhonda:

Oh I love that.

Alexa:

And so I told the girls, I was like, these people are based on you, you're gonna recognize a lot of truth, but if there's something that makes you feel icky, just know that's the fiction.

And also none of us could remember all the details. So it was funny when I was talking to my friend Tia about it She was like, I don't remember that situation at all. And then I'm telling her about something and she's like, huh? The way I remembered it was this and it's funny how different your memories can be. But so I was like, well, this is the way I remembered it and it's the fun version. So this is what we're going with.

Rhonda:

Like, what is it? Do you read a lot of rom-coms?

Alexa:

No. mean, I do now. But it's funny because when my favorite genres growing up were always thriller, horror, and historical fiction.

Rhonda:

Oh, wow. Okay.

Alexa:

Yeah. And I did read a lot of romance. I I went through my Danielle Steel era. You know, I grew up in the 80s and 90s. So I was reading all of those books.

But I mean, I was reading Patricia Cornwell, James Patterson, Stephen King, Dean Koontz. Like that's really what I...

Rhonda:

Dean Koontz gives me nightmares.

Alexa:

Oh, he's scary, scary. He's scary, scary. And then um also Outlander, what was like the first historical fiction book that I read. And I was like, oh my gosh, this is incredible. So...

No, I actually, started writing a historical fiction set in France in World War II. And I'm actually, I finally come back and pick that up again. But um when I went to try and really write the novel, like to complete the novel, it was 2020. I was going through a divorce. We were in a pandemic and I was like, I can't, I could not deal with this level of heaviness.

I mean, there's people dying all over the place. There's all the atrocities of, you know, and I was like, I can't. But so I was like, what can I write? Yeah. Yeah. So I pulled back out the version of this book that originally was called The Boys I Left in Paris, pulled it out of the drawer, got back in there and and kind of rewrote it a bit and a lot actually. And it was just so much fun writing at a time.

You'd think going through a divorce would be the time where you'd be like, yeah, romance, hate it. But it was actually the opposite. Like I just wanted to feel connected to hope and possibility and wild, crazy love, you know?

Rhonda:

Yeah. Oh, that's so great. And then you've written two more, including uh a Christmas novella. Tell me about the Christmas novella.

Alexa:

Well, so it's a series. And so the Christmas novella is book three in the series. So what I did was I took, I took the characters from the first book. So there were three female characters, Callie, which was the me character, Lila and Emilie. And so book two was Lila's story. So what happened after that with her and moving forward. And then book three was meant to be Emilie's story. But my characters just talked to me and led me on a different path.

I mean, I really wanted to do a Christmas book and I was short on time, but I really wanted to write another segment of the series so I decided to make it a novella. It's still 110 pages, so it's not like, you know, it's not super short, but it is a little bit shorter than the other ones.

But this one, I love Strasbourg, France, and so it's not in Paris, it's actually in Strasbourg, and it's set at the Christmas market, and I love it so much because that Christmas market has played such an important role to me in my life, and being there several times, it really important key moments of my life, but also I was able to bring in some of my military background.

And so the love interest is actually a pilot, a C-130 pilot who's come over from Ramstein Air Base, which is in Germany, but not too far away, and they meet at the market. And I actually pulled in a very minimal character from book two, Amy, and I made her the starring role, because I was like, how can I bring in, like these three girls, they've all either lived in France or live currently in France. How can I make this big exciting thing about the, so I was like, I gotta bring in an outsider.

So Amy, who's a friend of theirs, comes over from the US her first time to France and then she meets this pilot and it's just, it was so much fun to write. Oh my gosh, and I did. I took a trip back to Strasbourg, met up with my best friend who lives in the area still. We went shopping at the Christmas market and did all the fun things.

Rhonda:

That's a great research trip. Love it.

Alexa:

Oh yeah. Yep.

Rhonda:

I love the European Christmas markets.

Alexa:

Oh my gosh. They are fantastic.

Rhonda:

Yeah. Yeah.

Alexa:

That's what I want to do as a career actually is just go over and review all the Christmas markets and write books about them.

Rhonda:

About the Christmas markets.

Alexa:

Yes.

Rhonda:

So you self-publish these, correct?

Alexa:

Yes and no. So I have a publishing company called Chrysalis Press that publishes romance and literary fiction. But it's only Lexi Haddock and one other author. But it uh is technically a traditional press because I didn't charge Casey to publish her books. I mean, obviously I didn't charge myself. I paid for everything as the publisher. So, but yes and no. I don't know how you really call it when you have a publishing company, but you're also the author.

Rhonda:

Yeah, I don't know. There must be a word for it somewhere, but...

Alexa:

I know, but it does make it complicated on the marketing side because I want to market them as self-published books because I kind of consider them as self-published, but then I'm like, oh, if I submit this to a self-publishing thing and they see that there's a press and they go and look and it's not listed as a, you know, so I don't know. I don't really need to put that cart before the horse, I suppose, but...

Rhonda:

So what do you do to market these?

Alexa:

Okay, well, not as much as I would advise someone else to do just because I'm busy running my companies and doing all my other things. What I will tell you Rhonda is I fully understand the plate of authors who are trying to work full time and manage children and family or pets or caregiving or whatever.

It's hard and it's it became a lot more obvious to me as a coach sitting on, you know, saying, oh, this is what you just need to do these things. And then when it came time for it, was like, oh my gosh, that's a lot of stuff to do.

But I will say it is a lot easier when you can tie your book to a theme, a season or something like that. You know, so uh.

Rhonda:

It must make the marketing of the Christmas book easier because I’m always looking for Christmas books.

Alexa:

I'm oh my gosh. Yes. And the Instagrammers and the TikTokers and everybody is going wild over holiday books. So I actually had a lot of fun. generally try to take as much of December off from my other businesses as possible. So I spent all my time hanging out on TikTok, hanging out on Instagram, submitting my book to different, uh what's it called, promotions and things like that for the holiday books.

And for the first time, I don't know if I actually recouped all of my investment, but for the first time I actually made, like I got a reasonable royalty check out of the end of the month because not only was everybody looking for a great holiday read, but then they saw it was number three in the series.

I actually have some fams that I've built up that are like, oh my gosh, you know, she's got another book out, I'm gonna buy it. And it was like, oh. Ah I can see how this actually works. Like I've been teaching the theory for years, but, and for, listening to other people say it works, but I've never experienced. So that was really fun.

Rhonda:

Yeah. Yeah. I'm bet. So, um, let's talk a little bit about Women in Publishing if we can.

Alexa:

Yeah.

Rhonda:

So, um, you changed your format this year. What's the, what's the current format? Cause you were doing like a big one time thing, but now you've kind of broken it up, right?

Alexa:

Yes, well, we decided, you know, we've been around now. We're going into our 10th year, which we're very excited about the 10th big special anniversary coming up March 2027. And we decided that we don't want to be a place where people come just to learn about writing, publishing and selling.

There's lots of my other company does that. If you just want to learn about writing, publishing and selling, you go to Write|Publish|Sell.

We want to be a true community for authors and publishing professionals where we can come together and network. We want it to be a professional organization for women in publishing. So where we're doing training and networking and courses and programs.

And so we decided that we don't want to just have one thing once a year where people come in and get excited and they meet people and they're all on their way. And then as it does, after an event like that, life comes back in, you get busy and you just walk away.

So we decided to make the annual virtual event a little less, it was also very overwhelming back in the day. mean, four solid days of like 60 workshops, it was nuts. So we are loosening the reins on how much content comes out, focusing more on collaboration and building partnerships and getting to know each other in our community at the virtual event.

And then we have three boot camps throughout the year that focus on the nitty gritty. So in June, we're doing our marketing boot camp. It's all marketing, and we have a track for authors, and we have a track for publishing professionals.

And then in, I think, August, maybe early September, we'll do our business building. And that one digs into, I mean, for years, I've had people say to me, I need to know things like how to do my bookkeeping, how to find a bookkeeper, what taxes are for authors, what we're doing on this, if I need a trademark, what the copyright stuff is. And so I was like, okay, we're going to build a two-day event around those topics only. No business like selling. It's business.

Rhonda:

It's interesting because nobody ever tells an author that once you've got books out into the world, congratulations, now you're a business.

Alexa:

Oh, I do.

Rhonda:

Oh great. I love that. Yeah.

Alexa:

That's my whole shtick, Rhonda. It's making people realize you own a business now. You have to be a business owner. You have a product to sell. Yes, we write because we love to write. But if you want to actually sell books, you have to get some business savvy behind you.

And that is the common thread that I see in interviewing successful authors over and over and over. The one common element that they have is they treat it like a business. They take the time to learn the things that we don't like so that they can have an actual business.

So, and I found that some of the stuff I thought I wouldn't like, I actually really like. Like I'm so surprised. I get really, I love data and analyzing data and seeing analysis of like all the like trends and yeah, anyway.

But and then our third one that we do is content strategy because that's a really big piece of growing a platform. Whether you're an author or a publishing professional, you've got to have the content, what I'm talking about, your social media, your blogs, your newsletters, your emails, all of that stuff.

Rhonda:

Yeah. Wow. That's so great. And then you have the community. I've been to a few events and connected with folks and I've had a couple people come on the podcast that I met in that community and so tell me a little more about the community and how that works.

Alexa:

So there's two sides of the community. There's the free community that you can get be a part of by attending any of our events. So if you come to any of our ticketed events or our networking which we do have a place on the website where you can sign up for the monthly networking.

That's the gateway into getting access to the free community and it's cool. It's on an app. use a community tool called Kajabi and we have all kinds of threads in there. You can connect with other professionals. You can find out more about our sponsors. We've got, you know, different genre chats where people can go in, all the things.

And um we also have our paid community, which is WIP Society or WIP Society as we as we commonly call it. That is, uh it's an annual membership, although there is a monthly membership payment plan for those who would rather invest $49 in chunks rather than a bigger one.

But that uh brings everything under one umbrella. I really got tired of like selling and selling and selling. And to the people that love us and come to everything, our ride or dies, like I hated just keep selling them things.

So was like, how about this, you come into our community and you get everything. Basically, get, well, you get a ticket to the virtual event, you get the three boot camps, and you get what we had in our membership community before, which is weekly writing sprints and an Ask the Editor session and a Self-Publishing 101 session. These are live Q &As with our team, social media Q &A, marketing Q &A. So it's come and get what you want out of the program.

That community is even more active and engaged and uh it's just a really great place to come in and be able to ask your questions and it's not just of our experts, although we have lots in there, our sponsors are engaged in there, our uh speakers often will pop in and out and you know, have access to some of the best people in the industry. Why not use it? You don't need to go spend $25,000 on an education and publishing. You can come into the community.

Rhonda:

That's so true. I think, I am huge on community. I just feel like it keeps you going when it gets hard and it does get hard when it feels long and it does feel long. And then the networking that you guys do is so great because...something that you go in, you don't know, somebody else knows, and they're happy to share that information with you.

Alex:

Yes.

Rhonda:

Yeah, yeah.

Alexa:

Yeah. And we have a really giving community. And it's really nice to see that. I think that we've worked really hard at cultivating a community where people are there for the right reasons. And yes, there are many service providers in there.

And yes, they would love it if you became a customer of theirs but nobody's out there like beating anyone over the head saying I do that I do that higher that higher and you know so so when and when we find somebody who's like that we ask them to stop because that's not the environment that we want to have in there and I also find as a service provider and I'm sure you know this you see this too is that when you give of yourself it naturally attracts clients you know.

Rhonda:

Totally. Absolutely.

Alexa:

So. Yeah, it's really important and um having people that you can turn to and ask questions of because there are so many things that you need to spend a good chunk of change on. Editing, cover design, those things. Like you shouldn't need to waste your time and money on learning the basics, especially when you have a whole community of people who are willing to answer them, those questions for you.

Rhonda:

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I'm going to put a link in the show notes so people can find it. Yeah, it's really important. So any more Lexi Haddock books in the plans?

Alexa:

Yes. Yes. Yes. I am working on book four em in the Sparks in Paris series, which is Emilie's book. It's coming along slowly because I am also. This one is called Back to Paris and she had been living in Strasbourg. She's going to move back to Paris. Yes, because Paris is just so much fun to write about. And I'll be there in August leading a writing retreat and doing all my research there as well.

And then I'm also, I've pulled the old manuscript for my World War II book back out again, because I don't know anybody who loves The Nightingale and loves World War II set in France books, yes, knows that they're making a movie out of The Nightingale which I believe is supposed to premiere in February or March of 2027.

Rhonda:

Thar’s gonna be a hard watch. That's a hard watch.

Alexa:

It's gonna be a hard watch, but what I'm hoping is that it's gonna create a resurgence in everybody's interest in World War II and spy movies and lead female roles and all of that stuff. So I'm like, okay, Lexi, it's time to get this book out into the world so that you can ride the wave of The Nightingale movie. Hopefully, fingers crossed.

Rhonda:

Yeah. That sounds great. I'm a sucker for World War II novels.

Alexa:

Oh, me too.

Rhonda:

Yeah, love it. Well, thanks so much for talking to me today, Alexa. It was really great to chat with you.

Alexa:

Well, thank you. I always love chatting with you. So hopefully I'll be seeing you in the communities too.

Rhonda:

Yeah. In fact, I think I'm presenting on Wednesday.

Alexa:

Yes, you are.

Rhonda

Okay, I'll talk to you soon.

Alexa:

All right. Sounds good. Thanks, Rhonda.

Outro:

Thanks so much for hanging out with me today and for listening all the way to the end. I hope you enjoyed today's episode of The Resilient Writers Radio Show. While you're here, I would really appreciate it if you'd consider leaving a rating and review of the show. You can do that in whatever app you're using to listen to the show right now, and it just takes a few minutes. 

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